Greig Saving


This is an open letter to  George Osborne, the Chancellor, the man in charge of Britain’s money. He says we are massively in debt, and we must do something about it. Actually, I think he is wrong on both counts, but let that pass. He is spending less, which is one way to get out of debt, but it is slow. Also, the people at the bottom of the heap suffer most, which is unfair, since it was the rich who caused it, as they always do. If you are in debt, selling something always gets you out of the mire quickest, because it brings in money. This is especially good if the thing you sell is costing money. This is the exact reason that Osborne and Cameron are selling off the NHS, Education, forests, etc., to their friends at  knock-down prices. This gets rid of an expense and makes their friends happy, since they then get rid of the expensive bits, such as poor people, pensioners, disabled, etc., who are left to sink or swim (mostly sink, to be picked up by Charities. Hopefully, better Charities than the Greig, who give nothing to anyone, having no money of their own, except what they con out of naive Councils)).

But the Greig has had one inspired flash of genius, though, that Osborne ought to copy. They are selling off the part of their Charity that they allege loses money. (Looking at the figures, it’s the Sports Hall that loses it, but never mind). It is like a man selling his legs to raise the money so he can become a champion runner. But it works! People such as the Stratford District Council, Bellway Homes, some townspeople, the Law, are convinced that this is the way to get out of debt, when nobody will give you any more money. Alleluia for stupid people!

So how would this method translate to the British economy? Simples! Sell places, not institutions. For instance, who really needs Liverpool? Except the Liverpudlians, it goes without saying. And so Liverpool should go without saying, except they always have a whole mass of gab to say about everything, which is why it would be great to sell it to a foreign power. Americans would buy it, they bought London Bridge. They might have Liverpool rebuilt in the Mojave desert, but hey, who cares? It would do them all good. Look at the money it would save in unemployment benefits, social services, etc. How much would we charge? At least a million pounds, I should think. 

Then think of some other areas we could do without. The Greig trustees say the main building is old, out-of-date, unsightly, not fit for purpose. Now where does that remind me of? Yes, it’s London! Wow, sell London and we would be out of debt and in the red for centuries to come! There are not many countries that could afford to buy London, but the Chinese already own America, they would just love to add London, as the jewel in their Crown. Of course, we would throw the crown jewels in as well, but not the Royal family. That really would be selling the family silver, to sell the Queen! They could have the Duke of Edinburgh, though they might not want him. Anyway, I am not proposing we should sell the Royal family. Not yet, anyway. 

Other areas of little use spring to mind. The North east, with it’s flat caps and whippets and closed coal-mines. Parts of the desolate Midlands, such as around Nottingham, the desert between Wolverhampton and Birmingham, the whole of Studley. The problem with these less attractive areas is, who would want them? Possibly Al Qaida might, to use as a training ground, now that Afghanistan is wrecked. Or some movie mogul, just to show off how rich he is. But the expense of setting up customs barriers, immigration controls, etc., would put off the nervous investor. But the Greig Concept, selling off for profit what you are there to protect, is novel but sound. It would only work in this Age of Public Immorality, though.