A POEM FOR THE ROYAL WEDDING
It appears that Carole Anne Duffy, our Poet Laureate, is not inclined to write a poem for the proposed Royal Wedding between Prince William and Catharine Middleton. At least, she has not written a poem yet, which may not surprise her fans, as she may be of the Other Sexual Persuasion, and not be too empathatic towards a chap marrying a lass. (So how did she get that job?) So that our readers should not be too disappointed, we set out to supply a suitable Celebratory Poem. As they met in St. Andrew’s University in Scotland, we deemed it appropriate to adopt the style of one of Scotland’s greatest verse-smiths, the mighty McGonigle. So here it is.
‘Twas on the seventeenth day of November in the year two thousand and ten
That Prince Willy, the son of Charles and Di, surprised us all again.
He announced that he would marry the girl that he had been seeing for eight years
(Or thereabouts), and the whole country celebrated by giving them three cheers.
Later on they gave the date when they would enter their nuptual heaven,
As being Friday, the twenty-ninth day of April in the year two thousand and eleven.
His beloved is one of the Middleton clan, their eldest girl they named Kate,
And they met in St. Andrew’s University when they both went on a blind date.
His mother Diana having been dead for a number of years before,
He gave her his mother’s engagement ring, to save money since he is quite poor.
A humble helicopter pilot he, in his Granny’s Royal Air Force,
He hovered about ‘til he picked her up, to her great delight, of course.
Her father is a millionaire, apparently made from selling children’s party stuff,
Though how he made so much money at that is a mystery right enough.
We all hope that his Royal marriage may last longer than his uncle’s and his aunt’s,
And certainly be happier than his father’s, whose wife led him a pretty dance.
So let us drink a nuptial toast to Babykins and her Big Willy,
And let us politely ignore the sad fact that those names sound more than a bit silly.
And may we all be merry and bright on the day that they are to be wed,
And let’s all have a Bank Holiday and sing “May the Queen not yet be dead!”
P.S. They have chosen the same wedding date as Adolf Hitler! He married Eva Braun in the Berlin Bunker on April 29th, 1945. They committed suicide by shooting the next day, and their bodies were burned. Let’s hope that’s not an omen.! What a coincidence!